queenofquarters (queenofquarters) wrote in mind_expression,

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I wrote this one my junior year .... it's my prize posession.

he laughs are you when you leave
he smirks at your tears
he weeps for nothing
and as you whisper in his ear he turns his head

you are nothing to him
all he cares about is himself
your feelings are useless to him
your trembling has no affect

as you cry your salty tears
you see his blurry image leave the room
you don't realize he's not worth it
you don't realize he can't change

so you follow his trail of greed
and you leave a path of tears
he hears nothing
you tap his shoulder and he feels nothing

you step infront of him
he walks around you
you step infront of him again
but this time you slap his beautiful face

he stares at you with disbelief
the whole world comes crashing to a halt
you lean up to his face
and whisper in his ear

he turns his head
but you follow his lead
and you tell him your three words
he glances around with shame

you walk away and follow your salty path
you're ready for the journey
now that you told him
you are at peace

your chauffeur arrives not a minute late
you turn around to a sound
a sound you thought to be footsteps
no one was there.

you crawl into the carriage
death shuts the door
and you're off
off to a world of no forgiveness

every chance you get you glance at the world
you see him
but tears do not form
he's his normal self

your words didn't help
you should have realized
nothing could help him see
nothing could help chip the ice off his heart

but you noticed something unusual
he doesn't return home everyday
he goes somewhere
you can't understand where

the next day you come to earth
you follow him
his mid full of guilt
so full of pain

but why?
he has no feelings
you reach out and caress his hair
he jumps

you come to your destination
two iron gates close the enterance
he climbs the iron and follows a path
a path covered with white rose pedals

you never noticed before
he had a bouquet
you smell death and figure it out
a cemetary

why a cemetary?
has he changed so much
so many wonderful changes
but what has caused it

he trembles as he comes upon a headstone
you try to make out the name
it's hard to see
so blurry

he sits infront of the grave
and lays down the bouquet
then he lets loose
tears flow down his beautiful face

you sit next to him
he shys away
now you see the name on the headstone
and wonder why he would be at yours

it doesn't make any sense
he didn't care
he treated you like shit
he had no capability to cry

his tears stop for a moment as he speaks
"I didn't mean to hurt you"
and the tears begun again
he wept and wept

the morning sun came
and he was still there
his eyes red from the crying
his red eyes so deep with pain and regret

he puts his face on the cold marble headstone
and whispers "I miss you so much
"I never meant to hurt you
"I miss you and want you back"

a complete change
your death helped him change
he's a better person because of your words
your three words

he pulls away from the marble
and prays
he wants you back so desperately
he prayed for the first time

you place your hand on his heart
and whisper in his ear
"I forgive you"
he fell to the ground

tears burst out and
screaming your name between the sobs
he hoped you would return
he hoped to see you again

you leave
and return to the world of no forgiveness
all you can think about
is his change

his eyes that were overflowing with pain
his heart that was warm
and how much he wanted you back
you. he wanted you

but there's no way
no way you could go back
all that pain and you can't help

the next day
you meet him at the cemetary
he has one red rose
and one white envelope

you grab his hand
a tear forms in his eye
he opens the envelope
puts the rose on the marble

papers fall to the rose pedal path
he's quick to pick them up
he sighs
and he begins to read..

"It's so hard without you
"everyone misses you
"I miss you the most
"and I need you back the most"

"Life is not the same
"my soul is filled with regret
"I'm so sorry for how I treated you
"that's just how I was"

"your words touched me
"they touched me so deep
"I haven't forgotten them
"to know that you could forgive me...

"my heart is in turmoil without you
"I apologize every night
"I need you back
"I need to see you"

you place your hand on his face
he freezes
you tell him not to worry
you hear his words

then something happened
he gasped
and you felt something strange
he could see you

tears dripped slowly down his beautiful face
he reached out and hugged you
you felt a cold shiver
and embraced him

"I'm so sorry" he said
"I've missed you so much
"I'm glad you're back"
and with a sob he smiled

you just grinned
"I've wanted to tell you to your face
"for so long I have needed to" he sobbed
"I needed to"

"Now I don't know if I can
"it's so hard to see your face and know that I hurt you
"I hurt you so bad and still
"still you forgave me"

it's all right you say
"but it's not" he says
"it's not and I need to tell you
"I'm sincerely sorry"

he holds your hand
and you begin to cry
I accept your apology you say
it's hard to do but I accept

"you don't know how much that means to me"
but I do, you say
that's why I accepted
that's why I accepted

he hugs you for the last time
without even noticing
you were gone
once again a spirit

he could still feel the warmth of your skin
but couldn't understand
he couldn't understand how you could be so kind
after all those years you still cared

the next afternoon
you watched him
he returned to the cemetary
just like you figured he would

this time there was something different
on the ground next to the headstone
a gift
you left him a gift

he was shocked
he picked up the box and opened it
there was a card and
there was a journal

he read the card aloud
"this is for you to treasure
"my deepest feelings for you to keep
"I trust you to understand"

"I always felt comfortable talking to you
"about anything, I knew it was for you
"so I wrote them down knowing
"knowing someday you would hold my heart"

he gazed into the heavens
and thanked you
he vowed always to visit
and to always be careful with your heart.


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